Gendered.

Are the rights of men no rights at all?

How often do we hear people fighting for innocent men accused for false crimes at the hands of some women?

It is a sad reality that when we talk about abuse, we never point an accusing finger at a woman. This is undoubtedly because of our stereotypical attitudes towards both, men and women – we almost always consider men to be the villains and women to be the victims. The testimony of a man, accused, holds no water even if he is innocent because we have made it hard to believe that men can be victims, and the women, perpetrators.

I can imagine how surprising it must be for some to see me writing about the rights of a man, especially because I am a woman living in a largely conservative country, with a significant degree of patriarchy.
But before I proceed, I really hope you won’t miss the woods for the trees, and refute me with details about how women are at the receiving end more than men. I’m sorry but that doesn’t justify a man’s suffering. And anyway, I feel that these “facts” are highly warped because of biased reporting at the hands of the media – how often do you read about how women torture the men in their lives? Rarely, I dare say.

We being women, complain about being labelled as the weaker sex and then go on ahead and use that very tag to accuse and ruin a man’s life for no fault of his. Today, many women are using laws meant for their protection as a smokescreen to hide their own guilt. Men, families, are ending their lives because of the humiliation that comes with the resultant false charges of dowry, domestic abuse, rape and what not.

Why is it okay for a woman to hit a man but not okay for a man to hit a woman? Why is it okay for a woman to have an extramarital affair but not for a man? Have you ever wondered why is it that we always find a justification for a woman’s actions when a man is the victim? ‘He must have done something to deserve a beating.’ or ‘It must be an unhappy marriage for her to stray away from it.’

Women almost always get away with sympathy and support from the society, while a man has nobody but his immediate family at his side. How unfair is that? And why does nobody talk about it? Why can’t we, as a society, have a more balanced approach?

Before anything else, it is our outlook that needs to change. Our stereotypical attitudes need to go before we can enjoy progress in the actual sense of the word.
Women are not weak. They are certainly capable of taking care of themselves. And they can definitely put those around them in trouble. Similarly, men are not brutes or insensitive pillars of stone. They are human beings and they too, have feelings and rights.

And so it is for the benefit of all that each one of us is treated equally, irrespective of our genders, not just legally but also socially. After all, it is this gendered outlook that is the reason for the problems of all members of the society, alike.